I am currently reading Sex at Dawn, as many of you probably already have. I am a bit slow on contemporary books, still working my way through the many splendid authors no longer with us. However, I occasionally find interest in a work that is contemporary and attempts to reinvigorate our perspectives on each other, as human beings, or humongous beans. Whichever ever way you wish to look at it. I have been through channels polygamy and been through the unfolding ways of polyamory and I think I understand both from the perspective of the way I want to live. Or the mode of existence I most like to traverse. It took a long time, it didn't take workable relationships, but the substance of what I thought was provided by steps, a inclines and declines, but variably some steady footing on the matter.
I guess one formulates a sort of Magna Carta of coupling. Or how relationships with others must abide by the principles of the self. I don't think I ever truly thought monogamy was how I came to understand partnership, perhaps being a child of a single parent influenced this view.
I did however battle for monogamy during my first 'serious' relationship, partly because my girlfriend really didn't. She was anything but in a sense, perhaps, she didn't take the relationship as serious as I did. I was seventeen going on eighteen at the time, and she was roughly eight years my senior. Her experience with lovers and methods of relating to that was beyond my flimsy poet's heart.
I do recall distinctly having a conversation with her several years afterwards on the phone. She had called me up from a distance, she was in a room at a party wearing only a singlet and her knickers. Two guys were with her. By this stage I had reached some of my own conclusions about where I wanted to head with relationships, she also agreed that we both could have 'been' a lot more to each other if we were then on the same page. This was a discussion that occurred after we had phone sex, how could one not in that circumstance.